I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
