She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
