Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
