im having a threesome with these popsicles
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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