dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
