shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize