yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
