You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
