can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
