i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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