No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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