Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
