I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
