You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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