I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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