escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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