so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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