Please, let me fuck your mom
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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