I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize