somebody snuck up and got me drunk
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
