Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
