I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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