It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
