What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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