Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
