i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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