TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
