I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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