I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
