Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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