bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
