I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
