She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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