im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
