In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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