so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
