did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
