she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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