I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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