How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize