I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
did i walk over a car last night?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
