Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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