Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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