Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
