Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
