That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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