We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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