So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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