aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
