physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
