Sponge bath it is.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
