OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize