I wish I could punch you in the face.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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