Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize