he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
