i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks