haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.