Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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