Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is