I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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