I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
