so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Randomize
